Dating tips from a 9-year-old

You may have already heard about mini-Cassanova Alec Greven,. He’s a nine-year-old boy whose dating primer “How to Talk to Girls” has evolved from a $3 pamphlet to a book being published by Harper Collins. 

We admit, we were sceptical at first — what could some kid possibly teach veterans like us about romancing the ladies? 

But we have to admit, his advice is pretty solid. Check out a sampling of Alex’s best tips from a recent New York Post article, and think about the fact that his practical advice would all totally work. 

1. “Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats (jogging bottoms).”
2. “Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to).”
3. “The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don’t let them get to you.”
4. “Make sure you have good friends who don’t try to take the girl you like.”
5. “Go easy on the compliments to avoid looking desperate.”
6. “Class clowns never make a good love story with a girl, if you catch my drift.”

When To Take a Break From Dating

Just as there are perfect times in one’s life to meet someone new, there are also times when it is better to take a break from dating. Wondering when not to date? Read on to see if your circumstances fit any of these criteria. If one or more fit your current situation, its time to rethink your dating strategy and possibly take a dating break.

1. If a long term relationship ended in the past six months
Even if you didn’t marry your former partner, long term relationships still take their toll when they end. Dating someone on the rebound right after another relationship is not only a mistake but it can lead to disaster, because most people are more vulnerable and needy than normal in the aftermath of a breakup. Instead, work through the stages of Dating Prep completely before thinking about dating again, which should take approximately six months of hard work for most people.

2. If someone close to you has recently passed on
If you are already in a strong relationship when someone in your life passes, there is no reason to end things suddenly. However, if you’ve just started dating someone or are trying to meet new people when a loved one dies, it may be better to take a dating break for at least a couple of months. Grief hits us all in different ways; allow yourself the time to really work through your loss, before getting involved with someone new.

3. If you are without a job, house, or both
Sure, things happen. People lose their jobs, move, quit, and relocate all the time. Still, if you don’t have a place to call home or a steady source of income, its time to take a dating break. Focus on your immediate shelter and income needs for now, and soon enough you’ll have the energy, space and money to invest in someone new.

4. If there are unresolved addiction or mental health issues present
Unresolved is the key term for this specific dating break notation. If you are in therapy and have their consent, in recovery, or have beaten the odds and no longer suffer on a day-to-day basis from a mental health or addiction disorder, there is no reason to stop dating. However, if you are suicidal, haven’t been taking medications prescribed by your doctor, or aren’t actively working towards recovery, its time to start.

5. If you are separated but not divorced yet
Separation is a challenge no matter what the individual circumstances. Trying to date someone new while managing a legal breakup with someone else positively is almost impossible. Give yourself at least a month for every year the two of you were together and/or married to work through the myriad of emotions you are facing before even thinking about dating again.